Diamonte belt buckle 14/02/2006
Hey pop pickers. It's been a few weeks since my last confession and I know you are dying to know what I've been up to. I know some friends believe I should 'sex up' my stories and entries a little bit and I can see where they are coming from. I'm sure it would be far more entertaining for you to read about the exploits of a millionaire playboy, a covert operative who exists outside of the law or an area 51 test pilot but none of these would be me.
I guess it comes down to what I want this site to achieve. To be honest I don't want to change the world, although if every man, woman and child on the planet would read this I would be happy. No, I really just want to have a central collective for my thoughts. A place that if I was chatting to someone and wanted to give them a chance to know the real me or at least find out more about what makes me tick, this is where I could direct them.
One thing I have and will always strive to do is be honest, maybe too honest if you read some of the more personal thoughts in women and relationships, but I do believe that if you truly want to do or say something you have to give up or share a little more of yourself.
My musings and my journal entries might be boring but at least they are me. They may be long winded (or richer in details as I prefer to say!) which goes against some theories that websites are only for shallow transients, flitting from site to site, unable to concentrate on anything longer than ten minutes. This may be the case but you can't write for the weakest member of the population, you can't run the pace of a race for the slowest member and thus I have to aim to reward the patient reader. There are short pieces where the item warrants it and for the short attention spanners but the real meat about who I am is buried in those lengthy passages.
Of course I'd like everyone to read and enjoy my site and draw from it whatever pleasure or entertainment they see fit but if I can make a real impact, share an opinion/feeling or have a connection with just 5% of the readers then I will be genuinely happy.
Now onto the thrilling escapades of the last few weeks. It's been quiet. I managed to catch Munich which I found very poor. I like Speilberg but I felt this overly self indulgent, tedious, predictable and just plain boring. I should have realised the film was going to be pants when in a 'final destination' moment I managed to draw four, that's right four, consecutive coffee revels from my friends bag of revels that he'd kindly offered me. I'm sure there is no greater sign of impending doom than hitting those odds with the coffee revels. The action scenes felt like they were inserted purely to add a little flash-bang to keep the audience awake, some scenes just felt completely pointless and should have been left on the cutting room floor to shave the minutes off the running time and one of the supposed 'big' emotional scenes was just plain hilarious. Bana's character is imagining the scenes of the hostages being shot on the helicopter, scored naturally to gladiator-esque music, while he shags his missus and at the point of climax in both the love scene and the murder of the hostages he throws his head back to release what must have been about a litre of sweat. Any attempt at drama was shattered by what looked like a cheesy Gillette advert and it took everything to prevent myself from bursting out laughing.
I see the papers and the media have been full for the last few weeks about the Danish cartoons crisis/debacle. I'd could go on for ages about my views but I thought the whole episode was summed up quite succinctly in an image I saw on a website which showed demonstrating individuals marching through streets. An inserted slogan then read 'Define Irony : Protesting against free speech' - sums it up beautifully.
I was driving home last week on the dual carriageway and had this dawdling car infront of me. I wasn't tailgating him but he knew I wanted to get past. I also don't like undertaking people so I held back. The dual carriageway opened to three lanes and you would have thought that he would have moved to the middle lane. No, now he wanted to race and put his foot down, I accelerated easily keeping up with him. I knew there was a speed camera approaching and when we were almost on it I slowed down. He carried on racing ahead, obviously truimphant that he'd 'broken me' and then the camera double flashed him. I pissed myself laughing 'Ha, ha mother, revenge is a wonderful thing'.
Went to a club in Clapham this weekend called Inferno's. It's delightfully and unashamedley cheesy with two floors playing a mix of 70's, 80's and 90's cheddar. I must go there again when I'm drunk for I imagine it would be even more fun. There was a girl upstairs who caught my eye. Brown bobbed hair, white unbuttoned top, black cardigan and the most wonderful, big........ well you know me. I did at one point when Billie Jean came on move onto the dancefloor and in kind of her direction but I am useless at any kind of direct action fearing that my intentions would be written as clear as a bell across my face. Even without her seeing me (I was at least 8ft away) she slowly moved round so her back was towards me and I thought 'fuck it the gods aren't with me tonight' and scuttled downstairs.
I was wearing this diamonte encrusted oblong belt buckle that a friend had bought for me which has an LED display on it across which I had scrolling payne by name. People think I'm clinically mental for wearing it and it's only meant as a bit of fun but a girl did ask me what it meant before telling all her friends. Maybe one of them will remember and peruse this very entry. Maybe I should get some business cards done so that people can tuck them away for safekeeping.
That's really about it. I seem to have contracted some kind of cold/flu bug which will keep me from returning to the gym this week. I felt a little bloated on saturday night, ok I felt fat, well maybe just a bit soft and I think the self loathing has built back up high enough to spur my return to the gym. On a final note well done to Proteus for winning for the second year running the best hard dance DJ award. For me this guy is a top talent both in stage energy, choice of tunes and mixing skills and I'm pleased that he won again. Well done that man.
Take care and we'll talk again soon.
I guess it comes down to what I want this site to achieve. To be honest I don't want to change the world, although if every man, woman and child on the planet would read this I would be happy. No, I really just want to have a central collective for my thoughts. A place that if I was chatting to someone and wanted to give them a chance to know the real me or at least find out more about what makes me tick, this is where I could direct them.
One thing I have and will always strive to do is be honest, maybe too honest if you read some of the more personal thoughts in women and relationships, but I do believe that if you truly want to do or say something you have to give up or share a little more of yourself.
My musings and my journal entries might be boring but at least they are me. They may be long winded (or richer in details as I prefer to say!) which goes against some theories that websites are only for shallow transients, flitting from site to site, unable to concentrate on anything longer than ten minutes. This may be the case but you can't write for the weakest member of the population, you can't run the pace of a race for the slowest member and thus I have to aim to reward the patient reader. There are short pieces where the item warrants it and for the short attention spanners but the real meat about who I am is buried in those lengthy passages.
Of course I'd like everyone to read and enjoy my site and draw from it whatever pleasure or entertainment they see fit but if I can make a real impact, share an opinion/feeling or have a connection with just 5% of the readers then I will be genuinely happy.
Now onto the thrilling escapades of the last few weeks. It's been quiet. I managed to catch Munich which I found very poor. I like Speilberg but I felt this overly self indulgent, tedious, predictable and just plain boring. I should have realised the film was going to be pants when in a 'final destination' moment I managed to draw four, that's right four, consecutive coffee revels from my friends bag of revels that he'd kindly offered me. I'm sure there is no greater sign of impending doom than hitting those odds with the coffee revels. The action scenes felt like they were inserted purely to add a little flash-bang to keep the audience awake, some scenes just felt completely pointless and should have been left on the cutting room floor to shave the minutes off the running time and one of the supposed 'big' emotional scenes was just plain hilarious. Bana's character is imagining the scenes of the hostages being shot on the helicopter, scored naturally to gladiator-esque music, while he shags his missus and at the point of climax in both the love scene and the murder of the hostages he throws his head back to release what must have been about a litre of sweat. Any attempt at drama was shattered by what looked like a cheesy Gillette advert and it took everything to prevent myself from bursting out laughing.
I see the papers and the media have been full for the last few weeks about the Danish cartoons crisis/debacle. I'd could go on for ages about my views but I thought the whole episode was summed up quite succinctly in an image I saw on a website which showed demonstrating individuals marching through streets. An inserted slogan then read 'Define Irony : Protesting against free speech' - sums it up beautifully.
I was driving home last week on the dual carriageway and had this dawdling car infront of me. I wasn't tailgating him but he knew I wanted to get past. I also don't like undertaking people so I held back. The dual carriageway opened to three lanes and you would have thought that he would have moved to the middle lane. No, now he wanted to race and put his foot down, I accelerated easily keeping up with him. I knew there was a speed camera approaching and when we were almost on it I slowed down. He carried on racing ahead, obviously truimphant that he'd 'broken me' and then the camera double flashed him. I pissed myself laughing 'Ha, ha mother, revenge is a wonderful thing'.
Went to a club in Clapham this weekend called Inferno's. It's delightfully and unashamedley cheesy with two floors playing a mix of 70's, 80's and 90's cheddar. I must go there again when I'm drunk for I imagine it would be even more fun. There was a girl upstairs who caught my eye. Brown bobbed hair, white unbuttoned top, black cardigan and the most wonderful, big........ well you know me. I did at one point when Billie Jean came on move onto the dancefloor and in kind of her direction but I am useless at any kind of direct action fearing that my intentions would be written as clear as a bell across my face. Even without her seeing me (I was at least 8ft away) she slowly moved round so her back was towards me and I thought 'fuck it the gods aren't with me tonight' and scuttled downstairs.
I was wearing this diamonte encrusted oblong belt buckle that a friend had bought for me which has an LED display on it across which I had scrolling payne by name. People think I'm clinically mental for wearing it and it's only meant as a bit of fun but a girl did ask me what it meant before telling all her friends. Maybe one of them will remember and peruse this very entry. Maybe I should get some business cards done so that people can tuck them away for safekeeping.
That's really about it. I seem to have contracted some kind of cold/flu bug which will keep me from returning to the gym this week. I felt a little bloated on saturday night, ok I felt fat, well maybe just a bit soft and I think the self loathing has built back up high enough to spur my return to the gym. On a final note well done to Proteus for winning for the second year running the best hard dance DJ award. For me this guy is a top talent both in stage energy, choice of tunes and mixing skills and I'm pleased that he won again. Well done that man.
Take care and we'll talk again soon.
posted by payne by name at 7:53 am
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