Films and chunder 17/07/2006

Got into work to discover that my email to the blog I mentioned last Friday had been very well received. How nice that after a week of disappointments in trying to make contact with others, a blog that genuinely surprises and interests me would be so appreciative of my little old email. Both of them liked it so much that they actually created a post all about the wonder of receiving letters and what impact that they have. Just as they said that my letter couldn't have been more well received I couldn't have asked for them to react to it any better. If I'm honest, in this impersonal internet world I'm as pleased as punch that me expressing praise and gratitude to them could have such an impact.

Hit the swimming pool and I don't know if I was swimming differently or twisting my head in a new fashion but I somehow managed to rub my neck raw. Add to this I also managed to swim straight into one of those solid plastic floats within the lane dividers. I hit it hard enough to skew-whiff my goggles. I was aware of this wonderfully shapely woman swimming in the slow lane. She was wearing a white bikini and I could make out that she had blonde hair but nothing else really due to my goggles being fogged to shit. I decided to concentrate on my swimming instead and thought that once I'd broken the 40 minute mark of the hour long swim that I'd take a break and remove my goggles to drink her in. Unfortunately as I touched the wall and stood up she was already out of the water and walking away. She didn't turn round, stop at the showers or give me the hint of profile so I could see her face. I could see enough from her rear that I wanted to see more though. Another guy couldn't help but look either. Dammit, I wanted to see her face to know whether I should commence day dreaming of her or immediately write her off. I burnt through the final 20 minutes in anger at the fact that I'm sure she was a honey and that guys like me weren't allowed to have girls like that.

Went to Tesco's to get the ingredients for the spag bol that we were having on the Tuesday night but as I'd saved a fair chunk away this month was trying to watch the pennies. Not having enough cash combined with my inability to secure a babe saw me slip into a bit of a mood. With so many people on the planet how can you stand out from the crowd and remove your anonymity. What do you have to do to be noticed.

Tuesday's spag bol was of course excellent. 800g of extra lean mince, mushrooms, onion, courgette, 1 1/2 carrots, two tins of Napolina chopped tomatoes, two Oxo cubes, glug of red wine and a lloyd grossman sweet red pepper sauce. Served with lumache pasta, parmesan, grated cheddar cheese and an accompanying garlic bread. I hadn't had it for over a month because of my diet thing and it was good to be home. The after taste in the mouth was fantastic. It was Lost double bill night and I have to hand it to the creators that although I never really liked Charlie, his ostracization from the group was well handled and made me sympathise with his character. Jack is getting harder and tougher but I thought Lock was out of order when he smacked down Charlie. They were ok episodes but not stellar.

Wednesday was the commemoration plus one, of the day when our offices burnt to the ground last year. To demonstrate the companies amazing fortitude and by that I mean the admirable resolve of my two directors, we decided to have a barbeque. Hence in the yard, mere metres from the remains of the demolished office we set out disposable BBQ's and created ourselves a lunchtime feast. Quarterpounders, numerous sausages including different variants such as steak, english breakfast, pork and apple and lamb and mint, salad, dips and even jackets cooked in the microwave, then wrapped in tin foil with a liberal coating of butter and popped onto the BBQ. Man it was a yummy hot lunch and we all gorged ourselves. We chatted, we ate, we drank soft drinks from the can and it felt good to be together and as a team.

Thursday was ASOT and Armin delivered the goods as usual. I might take a break from him for a day or two but a blast of his music still has power over me. I love being affected by music and the trance he plays just gets into my core and I find it hard to control the urge to get up and dance. If nothing else, at least I honour him with a thumping finger in the air.

Over the course of Thursday and Friday I had received a couple of complimentary emails from a woman who'd seen and liked the style and layout of my site. I always knew I wanted my site to look clear and simple and have to thank my friend for her insight into the original colour and layout. Anyway I naturally thanked the woman for her compliments and explained how I'd got the site from mr site and the ease of it's of use. Lo and behold she went and checked them out and bought a package. By the end of Friday she had set it up and it was off and running. That really made me feel chuffed. I felt like I'd really made a difference. I'm not being arrogant but she made an approach, I offered some friendly advice which she acted on and now she had a site. Just as last week I'd talked about how mojo shivers had made a difference to my Friday and the impact that both Patrick and Breanne had had on me, now here I was giving something back. It might sound silly but it really made my day. I sent a congratulatory email to her site and hope that it will be the first of many for her. She even went and bought Serenity on DVD purely from the movie review of it that I'd written.

Stayed late on Friday to finish off some work for a client which was fun. After a quiet week it felt good to be doing something constructive, even if it was mundane and I always enjoy staying late with my two friends/directors and making a contribution. Especially when there is music and laughter. Got in for the remainder of the spag bol that we'd had on Tuesday. Needless to say that having had a few days to marinade together it was even better than Tuesday's effort. I hired out a couple of DVD's and watched the first of them that night, which was Lucky Number Slevin.

I've gotta say that I wasn't expecting much. When a film is proclaimed as cool this and cool that you sometimes worry that it will be all style over substance but it wasn't. The script was funny, clever and involving, the acting from the likes of Willis, Freeman and Hartnett were excellent and even Lucy Lui was bearable, and I normally can't stand her. Bro and I were both impressed and really enjoyed it. It was violent, it was dark and surprising but I can't say a great deal more in case it gives anything away.

Saturday was a belter of a day and we decided to use it by hitting a local park. Slapped on some lotion and spent a couple of hours throwing an American Football and frisbee at each other. It was a nice way to spend the afternoon and anything that adds a little colour to my alabaster body is no bad thing. The park had a fair smattering of people in it, including a few girls in bikinis. Maybe because I take very few summer holidays the site of a girl in a bikini drives me wild. I don't run up to them and start rubbing the tops of my thighs but I can't help but look over more frequently than I would if it was an old dear in a wheelchair. My bro punted out the idea of hitting the states for spring break which I must confess I'd love to do, though I may be a tad old. Immediately started thinking of designing a t-shirt that said 'Hi, I'm English, come and say hello'.

I know it's a stereotype that the Americans like the British but I must admit I like the Americans. I find them an interesting and exciting nation and I think if a friend had someone come over from the US be it male or female I would be keen to meet them and chat to them. I like their culture and certainly the ones I've met seem to live for the now and possess that spark that makes them good to be around.

Headed home to check out the second of our DVD's which was The Matador. Pierce Brosnan was playing against type in this as a rather seedy and on the verge of breakdown hit man. It really was a good film with a truly stellar, attention grabbing performance from Pierce. The supporting cast were all very good and it was such an enjoyable film with a quality script and plenty of good moments. How great to get two quality films but if I had to pick a favourite it would be The Matador. After the hours in the park it was a great way to unwind in the late afternoon and I decided to head out with my brother that night.

Jumped in the bath, donned my Pardon Moi t-shirt and started having a few drinks before my bro and his mates arrived. It was nice to be freed from the responsibility of driving (we were going to get buses) and I looked forward to getting tipsy. Did a couple of shots, including a red aftershock, baileys and absinthe one and laughed and joked with bro and mates. Headed to the bus stop where I started chatting to a couple of girls that were also waiting. I wasn't hitting on them but the alcohol was beginning to take effect and I was loosening up my mouth. I ran down the street to drop off the DVD's and politely tell a girl that she had a great bottom in the cut off jeans that she was wearing before hooking back up with everyone in the pub/bar.

The barmaid that I'd given my first card to was working and I approached to make our order. There was no recognition of me on her lovely little face but after giving her the list I speculatively said 'did you ever take a look at that site'. She suddenly smiled and said yes she had. Wow that made my day. Yes it would have been nice to hear from her but it's brilliant to know that she did at least take a look at it and hadn't just thrown the card away. I headed over to the gang and as I slowly got drunker tried not to think too much of her lovely big eyes and almost shy/nervous expression.

I saw the girl with the incredible chest that I'd seen over in another bar once before, and mentioned in my journal at the time. I handed her a card and said 'Can I just give you this and say that I'm fascinated by you and not because of your boobs but by what impact they have had on you' She smiled and I said that I wouldn't trouble her again.

Returned to the bar to get some drinks for everyone and she served me again, though if I'm honest I had positioned myself that she would. She really is very pretty. Alcohol intensified my attraction and I think I might have tried too hard though I never crossed the line of making her feel uncomfortable. I ascertained her name, which was lovely, and her age, 21. She probably thought I was a pestering, obsessive twat but I would love to take her out, just once, on a proper date and take the time to find out more about her and who she is. Maybe take her to my favourite Italian restaurant in Wapping before taking a drive over to Canary Wharf for a night time walk around there. I know that might sound cheesy but I love the vibrancy and food in this particular restaurant and always find Canary Wharf breathtaking and exhilerating at night, so I'd hope that at least it would be something that no one else would have done with her.

Trouble is that I'm old enough to be her uncle and she probably thinks all I'm thinking of is settling down and marrying. In reality we are probably the same mental age and she'll have had more relationship experience than me! But I know my place. I've got to stick to cynical, over the hill 30's who are desperate to tie you down to their painfully predictable lives. When I asked if she would ever consider letting me take her out she said it was too complicated and told a friend that she wasn't interested. That's fair comment I guess. Age gap and a lack of attraction will kill most things. It's a shame, she was a sweet dream while it lasted, even if that was intensified through my drunkedness,and it was nice to feel the warmth of that smile. She'll fade from my memory, they always do. Yes the faces remain but the desire and longing attached to them will go away and with each successive failure or lack of interest it gets progressively easier to force them from your mind.

Never mind and I continued to get drunker. Managed to spill some red reef onto my t-shirt which pissed me off a little but on the whole I was good tempered. Chatted to some other of my bro's mates and probably pushed my site to them a little too hard. I was in a mood to dance and to chat up almost anyone but the poor dj wasn't dropping any quality tunes and there wasn't anyone attractive in the place, well certainly anyone that would compare to the barmaid. 12 o'clock came and we left and waited for the bus. Things weren't spinning but there was no doubting that I was truly mashed. Kept myself quiet sitting for the bus but I was keen for it to arrive. I do remember slouching down on the seat when I was on it and surprisingly I must have been so gone that I didn't even attempt to sing any songs.

Staggered off the bus and made it to my house. Things became a blur then as I stripped off my clothes and then crawled on my hands and knees into the toilet. I realised I had a lot inside me so did the only thing possible and put my finger down my throat. You know when you are truly hammered when the only rational course is making yourself sick. It's amazing how it's trained into you to stay away from the bowl yet get drunk and you end up cradling it in your arms like a close friend. You find yourself pushing your face so far inside that you could almost apple bob though all you are trying to do is ensure there is no blowback on your clothes and that all the chunder is within the flush catchment area. Nothing worse than trying to clear up any sick when you are drunk. I still find it incredible how explosive it is when it does come up. So quick, almost coming out of your nose and causing your eyes to water when you retch but there's nothing more to bring up. Made it back to my bed and collapsed. Blew again into a bucket that I'd taken in with me and rolled over to enjoy a sweaty sleep. I woke a few times during the night and was conscious of the chunder taste in my mouth but knowing I couldn't manage the stagger to the toilet and needed teeth clean tried to forget it for the 30 seconds I needed to drift off back to sleep.

You can't beat that hangover sweat or the first look in the mirror after a heavy night when your hair is stuck to your forehead, your skin looks pasty, your mouth tastes of stomach acid and your eyes look lifeless. But I think it's good to have session now and again. Readers to this journal will know that I'm normally the one driving so the chance to have a good old drink and fool around was welcome. I also reminded myself that I think I'm good fun. Yes I binged but why not, I'm hardly a regular drinker. I was willing to chat to anyone and only wish that I could have been in the presence of other women or a dancefloor with some decent tunes. Needless to say I took it easy for the first couple of hours. Drank half a cup of tea and ate some toast. I did drink a shit load and it makes me wonder what worse state I would be in if that alcohol was still inside of me. Slow bath and then hit the shops. Got a McDonalds which certainly filled a hole though I was disappointed with their new onion rings. I don't like criticizing Ronald but they looked like they had been fried in three month old fat. It was nice to have something in my stomach for it to digest and I felt energy slowly returning to my body. Picked up Glengarry Glen Ross and Matrix Revolutions on DVD for only £2.99. I mean at those kind of prices you just have to don't you.

Crashed out in the afternoon with the original superman on the tv. Chris Reeve really was very good and did create two distinct characters. His superman is excellent, especially when confidently flirting with Lois and the film is still really top notch. I love the way they spent the time at the beginning purely setting up characters that wouldn't be seen until the second film. After tea watched Glengarry Glen Ross which is still brilliant. The acting by the cast is uniformly superb though I'd have to say that both Jack Lemmon and Al Pacino are in terrific form. Alec Baldwin also turns in a brief but scene stealing performance. I remember watching it about six months after becoming an estate agent and thinking 'oh my god, what a soul-less empty career path I've chosen'.

Finished with a final film of the weekend, Waterworld on tv. I know this got panned but I think unfairly so. Some small bits might be corny but there is much to enjoy. Kevin Costner is superb and his character refreshingly blunt, his ship is really cool and I genuinely felt sorry for him when it got destroyed and some of the set pieces in it are sensational, particularly the one when the smokers attack the settlement and costner is trying to get out. The film takes me back to those brave, apocalyptic mad max style films that I enjoy so much. On a final note I also like the way the Universal logo is used at the beginning of the film to show the world being flooded.

Thanks again for reading. Sorry for the delay in posting but my PC got infected with a virus and thus was out of action for a few days.